Cancer and Family Support

(Please read the 'current news' on right side of this blog as you scroll down)

The doctor informed Soma about her disease and Soma was visibly not so upset. He also told us to look after her well so that she didn’t become mentally weak. So we took maximum care to help her mentally.

I had a very cordial relation with Soma. Her love for me was always exceptional. All she wanted to know that whether I still loved her. Once she became sanguine about my unconditional love for her, she became more determined to fight against cancer.

But she was silently always watchful about the huge expenses that my family had to bear. But at that time, I failed to notice this.

She had a wonderful relation with her mom in law (MIL). My mother, (her MIL), was just like her own mother. Her relationship with my mother was affable and never riddled with even minor controversies. It wasn’t like a typical daughter in law and MIL relation. Both loved each other.

My mom couldn’t accept the reality that Soma wouldn’t live for a long. My mother visited all the temples and did whatever she could do to cure Soma. She always encouraged Soma.

Looking at Soma’s frail body and her increasing pain, my mom sensed the worst and became sick. My mom never recovered again. She died one day prior to death of Soma. I, somehow, believe that they were inseparable souls.

My other family members were also very much supportive. Everyone was very much fond of Soma. No one ever complained about her sickness.

My other family members were so concerned about her health that they always ensured she receive the best treatment at the best hospital.

Cancer Treatment is really very costly. I didn’t have so much money to support huge hospital bills. One of my uncles paid all the hospital bills gladly and also kept on sending me money to ensure that other post treatment related expenses were never neglected.

We together enjoyed quality time. She liked to see TV programs but I affectionately convinced her to avoid movies because of violence and she agreed. We used to enjoy programs on music. Our lives were tough but we worked hard to make it joyous as much as possible.

She decided to start her own business after the completion of her treatment. She could draw on cloths. Soon her designs became very popular. She was happy as she was earning a good profit from her business.

Overall she apparently had a very good environment. We tried our level best to provide her the best moral support. But that wasn’t sufficient.

Being a common man, I overlooked certain things. A specialist could detect her twisted thoughts.

Even, I think, if I would encourage her to write descriptive articles, it would help a lot to understand the under current flowing down her mind. That mistake proved to be very costly in the long run.

Cancer and female patients

(Please read the 'current news' on right side of this blog as you scroll down)

Cancer comes in a middle class family to ruin the whole family. Cancer not only badly affects the psychology of the patients, but also it creates a lot of other problems in the family.

In countries like India, female cancer patients often undergo tremendous mental torture. Even in some cases, these females are disowned by their in laws.

These middle class females are the most helpless if they become sick. When they need compassion, affection and moral support, in most of the cases, they get just the opposite.

Even if these females aren’t mentally tortured, they face indifference from their in laws. So, very few female patients are lucky to get positive moral support from the family members.

In other cases, families fail to understand the importance of a positive and cordial environment necessary for the sake of the patients. They often tend to fight over petty issues before the patient and never mind to view violence filled movies. Such chaotic situations create mental irritation.

In most of the cases, the educated middle class female patients aren’t treated according to their newly developed sensitivities. Their present mental condition, in most of the cases, are overlooked even by a compassionate and supportive familiy.

That’s why it is always advisable to consult a psychologist just when the treatment started. Psychologist can certainly improve the situation and help the patient a lot to develop a positive mental frame despite odds.

Cancer - Psychological Blow

Cancer patients suffer from huge trauma which is detrimental to their health. Often, they themselves fail to realize that they under huge mental stress.

Cancer, when for the first time is diagnosed, gives a huge mental blow. The patient needs to absorb that shock which is often very difficult. They feel suffocated in the mental cave filled with the feelings of frustration and death. The family members initially overlook this condition as they are also shocked and busy to quickly arrange the treatment facilities for the patient.

The initial period plays an important role in deciding the mindset of the patient. If they are mentally broken, it’s hard to prolong the life. A strong desire to survive is essential.

My wife, Soma was initially too shocked to react. Moreover, it was very difficult to read her mind. She was emotional and sensitive. So when she realized that most of her dreams were not to be fulfilled because of this disease, she created a shell around her. Initially we were able to break that shell, but today I realize that we broke it only partially.

She wanted to fight all out against the disease. She cooperated with the doctors. But somewhere deep in her heart, may be, she knew that she was living on a cliff.

Further she was well aware of the fact that for her treatment we had to part away with a huge amount of money. She decided to start her own business. We encouraged her because we thought that would keep her busy with her works and she would be able to overcome the initial trauma.

But she had other plans in her mind. She worked very hard but only to cover up the cost. She, being a housewife of a middle class family, was also severely affected due to financial burden put on us for her treatment. She, in her mind, felt guilty but never expressed it.

That’s where the importance of a psychologist comes into picture. I didn’t realize it at that time. So I request all the cancer victims to regularly visit a psychologist. It’s very important.

Another important thing is to let them write elaborately about their feelings.

If we would know this technique, we would be able to correctly understand Soma. Because elaborate writings help to slowly expose the hidden fear or frustration. A psychologist will be able to easily note down and take appropriate actions.

A strong mind helps to combat cancer in a better way. So never ignore the mental health of a cancer patient. Take the maximum care of patient’s mental health with the help of a psychologist.

Should middle class families exist or extinct ?!!!

In India, may be in other countries too, several non profit organizations (NGOs) and few Govt agencies play a key role to provide treatment facilities to poor people at a subsidized rate. That’s really a good effort.

But who does think about the middle class families. No non-profit agencies provide monetary help to middle class families. The middle class families fall in the zone of having too much money to qualify to be a beneficiary and yet not enough money to afford the high cost of the treatment.

My wife, Soma was under treatment for 6 years. I didn’t have sufficient money to continue her costly treatment for such a long time. One of my maternal uncles came up and took the responsibility of her treatment.

But I know most of the middle class families are not so lucky like me. They drain out their savings, sell their properties and then go for private loans where rate of interest is around 2-3% per month, yes per month. Ultimately they lose everything.

Helplessly, after a certain stage, a middle class family members witness their loved one to die without any treatment because they’ve no more money to treat the patient but still that ‘middle class’ tag is there with them, so let the patient die, no NGOs will come up to help the family.

I have contacted more than 100 reputed NGOs all over India and all refused to help me although I detailed to them about my situation. Politely they informed me that Soma didn’t qualify.

Qualify for what? It seemed to me they wanted to tell me that Soma didn’t qualify to receive further treatment and hence to survive as She belonged to a middle class family. What a wonderful system.

Sometimes, when Soma’s doctors were talking about the cost, I was cursing myself to born in a middle class family. Soma felt so much guilty for all the financial pressure put on us due to her treatment that sometimes she couldn’t look at my eyes. I tried my level best to hide the tension, but she could easily understand the palpable tension.

It seemed to me that society didn’t bother at all if middle class families exist or extinct.

Everyday, Doctors and cancer hospital authorities are earning huge amount of money. If they come forward together and donate an amount, it would considerably help the middle class families.

Ironically such method benefits exist and are enjoyed by selected wealthy and influencial persons who don’t need any such benefits.

Let the good senses prevail in minds of the persons running the Govt and NGOs and find time to think about the plight of the middle class family and make some provisions to help needy patients of so called middle class families.

Cancer – Hit it before it hits you

Please the read the following article. It’s very relevant.

http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/AllWoman/html/20081012T210000-0500_141246_OBS___THINGS_YOU_DON_T_SAY_AROUND_A_CANCER_PATIENT.asp


October is being observed as “Awareness month” to initiate awareness programs that enable us to prevent and handle cancer. All the concerned non-profit organizations have launched several programs to educate people.

In our individual capacity, what can we do to actively and meaningfully participate in cancer awareness program?

Decide the date for your medical check up, if you haven’t done it yet. One may explain the importance of regular health check up to his/her family members and friends. And make sure that they take his/her suggestion sincerely. The early cancer is detected, the greater the chance of full recovery.

Fresh green vegetables are certainly better equipped than meat prevent cancer. So add a good amount of vegetables and fruits in your menu and try to avoid soft drinks, meat, burger etc. Remind your family members and friends the necessity of eating more vegetables than meat.

Most importantly, from today, in fact from now, make a determination to quit smoking. You, your family members and friends form a group where everyone will help and monitor each other to quit smoking.

Yes, it’s very easy to say, but hard to implement. If you are not a smoker, you should take a lead to help others not to smoke. But, if you are a smoker and yet not decided to quit smoking, you are in fact calling the best friend of smoking – cancer – to ruin your life.

If you find quitting smoking difficult, please visit a cancer patient and observe how he/she is squirming in pain. Unless one loves a painful death, he’ll be determined enough to quit smoking. Go all out to quit smoking.

Yes, I know even if those who never smoked also die of cancer. My wife, Soma never smoked yet she got cancer and died. Anyone may be affected by cancer, but for smokers, simply the chances are greater. So quit it as early as possible.

Awareness about cancer doesn’t mean to generate a continuous flow of negative thoughts that one can be affected by this disease any time. The purpose is to remind us that we should take care of our health (regular health check up) and lead a disciplined life (emphasis is on vegetables and quit smoking). Also, another purpose is to make us mentally strong to fight against the disease.

Cancer awareness month

Please read the 'Current News - Cancer and psychology' section on the right pane of this blog for invaluable info.

October is the month to build up awareness about cancer around the world. I remember:

Oct 2007, my wife, a cancer patient was too sick to think of helping someone.

But Oct 2006, she was very much active and encouraged the other patients not to lose heart and fight it out. She believed that yoga would cure her disease. So she advised other patients to learn yoga from a teacher of competence.

But this year (2008) she is no more alive. So no good wishes to her co-patients who are still alive from her. I, on behalf of her, extend my best wishes to all the cancer affected patients.

A lot of programs have been initiated to educate people about the danger of cancer and importance of regular health check up.

Here I list some very common things we do and we don’t do with cancer patients:

Please don’t smoke near a cancer patient.

Please don’t allow them to view violent movies.

While dealing with them, please handle them with care, love and affection. Always remember that they are mentally too much vulnerable.

Try to wash off ‘fear of death’ from their minds. And never stop them listening to music.

Keep them busy – mentally and if possible physically too. It’ll not be wise to leave them alone.

Never discuss with them about the financial burden caused due to the disease.

Never rely on testimonial based alternative treatment methods. Always consult doctors before considering one.

Harsh fact: (I think) Cancer can’t be cured but can be controlled. To control it for a longer period, patient needs inner strength to battle against it all out. So always try to make the patient mentally determined more and more ……!!

All of us should make a sincere effort to support a cancer patient the way we can. But just not ignore them.

Cancer - A Suggestion

All the cancer patients suffer from a variety of psychological disorder. The disease itself causes a lot of psychological stress. Constant fear of relapse and death only add further woes.

A series of social factors too twist the psychological behavior. Sometimes the psychological reactions are so subtle yet very strongly decisive to affect the psychology of the patients.

From my experience, I have seen how my wife, Soma, was changed drastically over the years. I consulted a psychologist, but it was too late.

So, my sincere suggestion to all cancer patients and their families is to consult a psychologist regularly.

They should keep a watch on the patients to find out any psychological change and report to the psychologist immediately. Please don’t ignore this suggestion.

Cancer - Important News 2

Please read the 'Current News - Cancer and psychology' section on the right pane of this blog for invaluable info.

Recently, in a study, patients were asked to write about their feelings and emotions. As the patients expressed their sentiments, it actually revealed their psychological needs. The doctors could take action to improve the mental condition of the patients accordingly. The relation between the mind and immune system is very much important.

Following link details the study:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25738966/

In India, most of the doctors are aware of this, but still they pay less attention to this fact. Here I’m tempted to narrate my experience about how hospitals and few doctors squeeze out money from a patient.

If a patient has no problem, he/she shouldn’t visit a hospital. That’s quite natural. But in Mumbai, India, a reputed hospital authority thinks otherwise. They’ll charge an extra fee because a patient was fit enough and so didn’t visit them for 3 consecutive months!!! Yes, I’m not kidding. This is a fact.

Do you want to know another inhuman way to squeeze money from a dying patient?

They levy a charge, called ‘charge for planning’, on patients receiving chemotherapy. This charge is levied on the patient because the doctor prescribed the dose and drug. One has to pay both the consultancy fee and the planning charge. The patient will have to pay this ‘planning charge’ for every dose even if nothing new will be added in the process. Have you ever heard of a doctor who charges a patient twice because he is i) prescribing a drug and ii) deciding the dose of that drug? A well designed example of financial exploitation.

They charge ‘bed charge’ plus charges for the facilities like a/c, fan chairs and toilets. If any junior doctors are requested to visit the patient during chemo, they’ll again charge a fee. In total one will find himself paying an extra of Rs 4500 – Rs 5000 in Indian Rupee.

I met the person who ‘discovered’ various such illogical methods to earn money. He never looked like a human being; he was so faceless and emotionless. His idea was that a cancer patient would die, and so what’s wrong if the patient give us some of his /her wealth to make us rich. I’m sure he’ll be able to pull out money even from the ruins. And I hope he or his family members never get affected with cancer and realize how difficult it is for an affected family to arrange huge expenses for treatment.

Well, I have got another news to highlight. Read the following article if you go for ‘safe tan’.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26772592/

But there is a controversy and confusion. So following report is good to understand things better.

http://info.cancerresearchuk.org/news/behindtheheadlines/sunlightandvitamind/?a=5441

Cancer -- Important News

Please read the 'Current News - Cancer and psychology' section on the right pane of this blog for invaluable info.

This section brings up important news and studies related to cancer and psychology. The news reels will help general public to build up awareness and also help cancer patients about different latest improvements in these two fields.

Today I’m putting two different types of important news from Washingtonpost.com and Inquirer.net. More such related news are available on the right side of this blog as you scroll down under the heading – “current news – cancer and psychology”

The 1st one is to develop awareness about different so called ‘cure all’ products available. This report lists how the concerned authorities react about these ‘cure all’ products. This’ll prevent the cancer patients from wasting money and getting disappointed. Here is the 1st link:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/29/AR2008092900773.html

The 2nd report is the latest study of the effects of vitamin C on cancer patients who are receiving chemotherapy.

This study brings up breaking news that Vitamin C may in fact reduce the effectiveness of chemotherapy. Read the news in detail in the following site:

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/world/view/20081002-164130/Vit-C-reduces-benefits-of-cancer-drugs

The patients should consult with their doctors regarding the above two report and study. But what is important is that a patient should rely on inner strength rather than running after new products and services with tall claims backed by testimonials.

Inner strength can be developed by the family members and well wishers. A positive environment will certainly help a cancer patient to develop an inner strength to fight against cancer.

Let us try to help a cancer patient to build up his/her mental power. Everyone will die one day, so does a cancer patient. But we should help them to win over the fear of death. This’ll have enormous impact on the cancer patients’ psychology which in turn may positively affect the immune system.

Stay tuned for more......................!!!!