Cancer and Family Support

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The doctor informed Soma about her disease and Soma was visibly not so upset. He also told us to look after her well so that she didn’t become mentally weak. So we took maximum care to help her mentally.

I had a very cordial relation with Soma. Her love for me was always exceptional. All she wanted to know that whether I still loved her. Once she became sanguine about my unconditional love for her, she became more determined to fight against cancer.

But she was silently always watchful about the huge expenses that my family had to bear. But at that time, I failed to notice this.

She had a wonderful relation with her mom in law (MIL). My mother, (her MIL), was just like her own mother. Her relationship with my mother was affable and never riddled with even minor controversies. It wasn’t like a typical daughter in law and MIL relation. Both loved each other.

My mom couldn’t accept the reality that Soma wouldn’t live for a long. My mother visited all the temples and did whatever she could do to cure Soma. She always encouraged Soma.

Looking at Soma’s frail body and her increasing pain, my mom sensed the worst and became sick. My mom never recovered again. She died one day prior to death of Soma. I, somehow, believe that they were inseparable souls.

My other family members were also very much supportive. Everyone was very much fond of Soma. No one ever complained about her sickness.

My other family members were so concerned about her health that they always ensured she receive the best treatment at the best hospital.

Cancer Treatment is really very costly. I didn’t have so much money to support huge hospital bills. One of my uncles paid all the hospital bills gladly and also kept on sending me money to ensure that other post treatment related expenses were never neglected.

We together enjoyed quality time. She liked to see TV programs but I affectionately convinced her to avoid movies because of violence and she agreed. We used to enjoy programs on music. Our lives were tough but we worked hard to make it joyous as much as possible.

She decided to start her own business after the completion of her treatment. She could draw on cloths. Soon her designs became very popular. She was happy as she was earning a good profit from her business.

Overall she apparently had a very good environment. We tried our level best to provide her the best moral support. But that wasn’t sufficient.

Being a common man, I overlooked certain things. A specialist could detect her twisted thoughts.

Even, I think, if I would encourage her to write descriptive articles, it would help a lot to understand the under current flowing down her mind. That mistake proved to be very costly in the long run.

Should middle class families exist or extinct ?!!!

In India, may be in other countries too, several non profit organizations (NGOs) and few Govt agencies play a key role to provide treatment facilities to poor people at a subsidized rate. That’s really a good effort.

But who does think about the middle class families. No non-profit agencies provide monetary help to middle class families. The middle class families fall in the zone of having too much money to qualify to be a beneficiary and yet not enough money to afford the high cost of the treatment.

My wife, Soma was under treatment for 6 years. I didn’t have sufficient money to continue her costly treatment for such a long time. One of my maternal uncles came up and took the responsibility of her treatment.

But I know most of the middle class families are not so lucky like me. They drain out their savings, sell their properties and then go for private loans where rate of interest is around 2-3% per month, yes per month. Ultimately they lose everything.

Helplessly, after a certain stage, a middle class family members witness their loved one to die without any treatment because they’ve no more money to treat the patient but still that ‘middle class’ tag is there with them, so let the patient die, no NGOs will come up to help the family.

I have contacted more than 100 reputed NGOs all over India and all refused to help me although I detailed to them about my situation. Politely they informed me that Soma didn’t qualify.

Qualify for what? It seemed to me they wanted to tell me that Soma didn’t qualify to receive further treatment and hence to survive as She belonged to a middle class family. What a wonderful system.

Sometimes, when Soma’s doctors were talking about the cost, I was cursing myself to born in a middle class family. Soma felt so much guilty for all the financial pressure put on us due to her treatment that sometimes she couldn’t look at my eyes. I tried my level best to hide the tension, but she could easily understand the palpable tension.

It seemed to me that society didn’t bother at all if middle class families exist or extinct.

Everyday, Doctors and cancer hospital authorities are earning huge amount of money. If they come forward together and donate an amount, it would considerably help the middle class families.

Ironically such method benefits exist and are enjoyed by selected wealthy and influencial persons who don’t need any such benefits.

Let the good senses prevail in minds of the persons running the Govt and NGOs and find time to think about the plight of the middle class family and make some provisions to help needy patients of so called middle class families.