Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Agony of cancer patients
The word ‘cancer’ is itself a fearful term. Popular saying goes like cancer has no answer. A person, when diagnosed as a cancer patient, undergoes a huge psychological pressure specifically if they are breast cancer patients. I do remember when my wife came to know that she had cancer, she murmured, “Now everyday is as if my last day in this world”. Later on she gained confidence and decided to give it a fight although she knew that she was fighting a lost battle.
For the family members of a cancer patient also the situation is very much precarious. Silently to wait for nearer one to die is a severe mental punishment. Helplessly observe him/her to squirm in pain and try to give him/her false hope. In such a situation, it is really hard for someone to keep his/her emotions under control. I know it. Sometimes, I did lost control over myself. But a cancer patient needs calm and affectionate environment. It’s an absolute necessity for a cancer patient.
I know it’s hard, but still I request all the readers to take a note of this point seriously. Cancer patients suffer from treatment, suffer due to the disease and also they suffer if they are put into hostile environment. We can’t help with the distress they face due to treatment and disease, but certainly we can be affectionate and supportive. We have to control our emotions and extend our moral support to cancer patients.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Silent Killer -- Psychological stress
A female cancer patient in India faces a lot of problems like social, economical and psychological. Wearing a wig after chemo and roaming around surely causes a lot of comments from even educated persons. But Soma, my wife, tackled this issue elegantly. The disease, cancer, itself creates a sense of death all the time in the mind of a patient. We need to be extremely careful so that the patient can involve his/her mind in a creative acts rather than thinking about death.
My Bitter Experience: My family stood firmly behind us during these 6 years. But one of my relatives were little different and proved very much effective in a negative manner. He used to stay near to us. So he was a regular visitor. His approach was very clear and casual. He used to express his concern about huge medical bills because of her treatment. Slowly he made her believe that she was responsible to ruin the family. Because of her sickness, she couldn’t conceive. That was another weak point which he utilized in a very much sophisticated way. Lastly, that relative never forgot to mention that I had to live an unhappy life due to Soma. Neither Soma nor I could immediately realize the impact of his intention because he was so articulate. We didn’t expect that he wanted to kill Soma mentally. Ultimately when we realized it was too late.
The Horrible Psychological Fall Out: During early 2007, the impact of his effort to destroy Soma’s confidence started showing results. I took her to a psychologist. The Dr grilled me like I was a murderer. He revealed that Soma developed suicidal mentality because she considered herself a burden on me. Of course, I also failed to act in a proper way to help her to maintain or build up confidence. She started to refuse to take food, medicine, became impatient and preferred only to sleep after taking sleeping pills. All desires to live vanished. I was witnessing helplessly the transformation of a joyous Soma into a timid creature with no expectation from anyone.
My Role: I was very much supportive. Soma relied on me absolutely. I took all the steps to ensure better treatment. But I failed to read her mind properly. I knew that cancer patients were very much touchy. I tried to tell her about success of Pranayam and stories of cancer survivors. But those were like general vocal tonic. I couldn’t help her according to her mental condition and I paid a heavy price for that mistake. I hope my experience will help others to find proper ways.
A Real Lesson: SOMA CANCER PATIENTS CARE SOCIETY is well concerned about the fact that family members’ activities often create a situation when patients start blaming him/herself. Here we are trying to aware the family members of the cancer patients to be always alert and actively try to boost the patient mentally whenever and however possible. To be careful to expose the patients to other persons, remembering my experience and not relying on anybody blindly.
Suggestion not to overlook: We recommend purchasing a CD of Gayatri Mantra and playing it in the morning which is very much helpful to ward off stress. It is not advisable to view sex and violence filled movies or complicated family dramas. We also suggest letting them read light jokes and show Tom and Jerry type cartoon pictures. We suggest keeping a cancer patient free from all sorts of tension and chaos. Create happy and joyful environment and keep them busy with something they prefer. Encourage, encourage and encourage…………………….them !!!!
A host of websites are available at your finger tips suggesting methods by experts about how to boost up a cancer patient. Check those sites, and find out the best suitable way for a particular patient.
An Appeal: SOMA CANCER PATIENTS CARE SOCIETY is running shortage of fund. As a result our effort is limited to small numbers of patients only. Our capacity is too much limited. So it’ll be really appreciable, if the reader finds some time to try to boost up the confidence of any cancer patient and make his/her life little better.
My Bitter Experience: My family stood firmly behind us during these 6 years. But one of my relatives were little different and proved very much effective in a negative manner. He used to stay near to us. So he was a regular visitor. His approach was very clear and casual. He used to express his concern about huge medical bills because of her treatment. Slowly he made her believe that she was responsible to ruin the family. Because of her sickness, she couldn’t conceive. That was another weak point which he utilized in a very much sophisticated way. Lastly, that relative never forgot to mention that I had to live an unhappy life due to Soma. Neither Soma nor I could immediately realize the impact of his intention because he was so articulate. We didn’t expect that he wanted to kill Soma mentally. Ultimately when we realized it was too late.
The Horrible Psychological Fall Out: During early 2007, the impact of his effort to destroy Soma’s confidence started showing results. I took her to a psychologist. The Dr grilled me like I was a murderer. He revealed that Soma developed suicidal mentality because she considered herself a burden on me. Of course, I also failed to act in a proper way to help her to maintain or build up confidence. She started to refuse to take food, medicine, became impatient and preferred only to sleep after taking sleeping pills. All desires to live vanished. I was witnessing helplessly the transformation of a joyous Soma into a timid creature with no expectation from anyone.
My Role: I was very much supportive. Soma relied on me absolutely. I took all the steps to ensure better treatment. But I failed to read her mind properly. I knew that cancer patients were very much touchy. I tried to tell her about success of Pranayam and stories of cancer survivors. But those were like general vocal tonic. I couldn’t help her according to her mental condition and I paid a heavy price for that mistake. I hope my experience will help others to find proper ways.
A Real Lesson: SOMA CANCER PATIENTS CARE SOCIETY is well concerned about the fact that family members’ activities often create a situation when patients start blaming him/herself. Here we are trying to aware the family members of the cancer patients to be always alert and actively try to boost the patient mentally whenever and however possible. To be careful to expose the patients to other persons, remembering my experience and not relying on anybody blindly.
Suggestion not to overlook: We recommend purchasing a CD of Gayatri Mantra and playing it in the morning which is very much helpful to ward off stress. It is not advisable to view sex and violence filled movies or complicated family dramas. We also suggest letting them read light jokes and show Tom and Jerry type cartoon pictures. We suggest keeping a cancer patient free from all sorts of tension and chaos. Create happy and joyful environment and keep them busy with something they prefer. Encourage, encourage and encourage…………………….them !!!!
A host of websites are available at your finger tips suggesting methods by experts about how to boost up a cancer patient. Check those sites, and find out the best suitable way for a particular patient.
An Appeal: SOMA CANCER PATIENTS CARE SOCIETY is running shortage of fund. As a result our effort is limited to small numbers of patients only. Our capacity is too much limited. So it’ll be really appreciable, if the reader finds some time to try to boost up the confidence of any cancer patient and make his/her life little better.
Pl mail me your views at jaydipsoma@gmail.com
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Our Inspiration ................................
Soma Chakrabarti loved to smile and she was full of life. She inspired me to look at life in a different and more serious perspective. Since the end of 2001, I was with her, helping her to fight against Cancer. I have gained a lot of hands on experiences during this period to handle such a patient who knows that her days are numbered. Now looking at sky, I feel how much mentally strong she was. So to keep her courage alive, I along with my like-minded friends and relatives decided to share my experiences for the benefits of the cancer patients.
She fought against this dreaded disease for 6 years. But within the span of these 6 years, she used to encourage her fellow patients to fight it all out, not to give up and always tried her level best despite being sick, to boost up her fellow patients. All the Doctors loved her because of her undying spirit and eagerness to help other patients. It was her one of the unfinished dream to effectively stand by the side of a distressed. We are determined to fulfill her dream and assist the cancer affected patients and families.
No doubt that we draw the inspiration to serve the cancer patients from Soma. But her untimely departure left us clueless. How to start to work for the cancer patients? So many tough moments they face. They not only suffer physically but also mentally. During her last days her reluctance to do Pranayam or meet the Doctors actually meant that she died mentally before we could realise.
Soma was a loving lady. She was able to earn love and respect from her in-laws. During the critical period of her illness, my mom used to awake all the night and let her sleep in my mom’s lap. My mom behaved with her not as mom-in-law but as an affectionate mom.
To show respect to her unbinding affection for her in-laws, we decided to start an NGO in her in-laws’ native place, Tripura. To honor her soul, we named the NGO as “SOMA CANCER PATIENT CARE SOCIETY" (S.C.P.C.S).
Tripura is a north eastern state of India. Agartala being the capital and 3 sides of Tripura are surrounded by Bangladesh. Agriculture is the main occupation. There are no big industries. Transport facility with rest of India is only by air and road connection with rest of India is very much tiring and not suitable for patients.
Soma was a teacher in a private school. She had to quit the job because of her illness. But instead of bogged down by the pain and blaming her fate, she started to work from home. She earned fame in the field of boutique designing. She encouraged other patients to be always active as much as possible. The society wishes to encourage and create environment for the cancer patients to participate in meaningful and productive activities.
Gradually, I'll write in details about the 'Aims and Objectives' of the society. Also your suggestion will help us to improve our service because.
In the next blog, I’ll write about how young ladies who are suffering from cancer, instead of being encouraged, are forced to feel a burden of the family.
She fought against this dreaded disease for 6 years. But within the span of these 6 years, she used to encourage her fellow patients to fight it all out, not to give up and always tried her level best despite being sick, to boost up her fellow patients. All the Doctors loved her because of her undying spirit and eagerness to help other patients. It was her one of the unfinished dream to effectively stand by the side of a distressed. We are determined to fulfill her dream and assist the cancer affected patients and families.
No doubt that we draw the inspiration to serve the cancer patients from Soma. But her untimely departure left us clueless. How to start to work for the cancer patients? So many tough moments they face. They not only suffer physically but also mentally. During her last days her reluctance to do Pranayam or meet the Doctors actually meant that she died mentally before we could realise.
Soma was a loving lady. She was able to earn love and respect from her in-laws. During the critical period of her illness, my mom used to awake all the night and let her sleep in my mom’s lap. My mom behaved with her not as mom-in-law but as an affectionate mom.
To show respect to her unbinding affection for her in-laws, we decided to start an NGO in her in-laws’ native place, Tripura. To honor her soul, we named the NGO as “SOMA CANCER PATIENT CARE SOCIETY" (S.C.P.C.S).
Tripura is a north eastern state of India. Agartala being the capital and 3 sides of Tripura are surrounded by Bangladesh. Agriculture is the main occupation. There are no big industries. Transport facility with rest of India is only by air and road connection with rest of India is very much tiring and not suitable for patients.
Soma was a teacher in a private school. She had to quit the job because of her illness. But instead of bogged down by the pain and blaming her fate, she started to work from home. She earned fame in the field of boutique designing. She encouraged other patients to be always active as much as possible. The society wishes to encourage and create environment for the cancer patients to participate in meaningful and productive activities.
Gradually, I'll write in details about the 'Aims and Objectives' of the society. Also your suggestion will help us to improve our service because.
In the next blog, I’ll write about how young ladies who are suffering from cancer, instead of being encouraged, are forced to feel a burden of the family.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
A simple Lady
Soma was a nice lady. She was only 39 years. She completed her M.A. from the Calcutta University and learned Rabindra Sangeet and Najrul Geeti. In both the categories, she got trained for more than 10 years. Interestingly she started singing when she was a toddler. She got training in painting too. Above all she was sincere and lovely and learned to smile even under worst circumstances.
She was diagnosed as a breast cancer patient in Nov 2001. She got married to me in March 2001, after a courtship of 5 years. And on 21st Nov, She, for the 1st time in her life, surrenderred to CANCER................................ !!!!
She fought against this disease with a courage. I decided to spread that courage to those patients and families who are fighting against cancer. I alongwith my relatives decided to set up a NGO to spread awareness among the cancer patients.
In this 1st blog, all I want to mention is that PRANAYAM really helps, at least, to make the life of a cancer patient, better.
In next blog, I'll discuss more about the functioning of our NGO and Pranayam.
She was diagnosed as a breast cancer patient in Nov 2001. She got married to me in March 2001, after a courtship of 5 years. And on 21st Nov, She, for the 1st time in her life, surrenderred to CANCER................................ !!!!
She fought against this disease with a courage. I decided to spread that courage to those patients and families who are fighting against cancer. I alongwith my relatives decided to set up a NGO to spread awareness among the cancer patients.
In this 1st blog, all I want to mention is that PRANAYAM really helps, at least, to make the life of a cancer patient, better.
In next blog, I'll discuss more about the functioning of our NGO and Pranayam.
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